You, like my friend, is probably wondering wtf (what the fuck) is "alternative routez?"
Without being longwinded (which I can sometimez do), a couple ah yearz ago, someone asked me whether I waz gay, bi, str8, or confused. Mah response to him was "alternative." He said (guess)!
Alternative (to me) means the labels gay, bi, str8, or confused didn't apply, and still don't, apply to me. Being alternative for me means (as it does) when you ride down a street and suddenly the sign sayz "take alt route." When you see that sign, you think "damn" now I have to go all the way around. Well, when you see that sign, you don't turn around and go back where you came from because you still have somewhere to get to, you just have to "take an alt route" to get there, which is nothing short of what everyone does in life anyway.
As "alternative" black men, no one knows more about taking "alternate routez" more than we do! Don't believe me? Do any of the below apply to you?
* At home...If they only knew...what would they do? So you choose to..."take an alt route"
* At school...You look and look and lust and your mind wanderz but you DAMN SURE BET NOT say nothin to him becauze if you do, he (or they) will pound your azz in the ground...so you "take an alt route"
*At work...It's Friday and for most of the people you work with, it's drink time (or smoke time depending on where you work LOL). The work people (I sound too much like mah momz) ask you what you have planned for the weekend because you never hang out (you know you can't cuz you and dude already got planz but they dont know all that!)... so you lie and "take an alt route"
*At church ...no need fo a scenario....you just "take an alt route"
* At family gatherings...Uncle Jr: "When you gon stop bringin yo azz home witout somma dem pretty azz wimminz you up at that black college wit?" In yo mind you sayin neverary...so you "take an alt route"
...and the list can go on!
Now that you get the picture, think about who you are now, and they about all of the "alt routez" you took to get here. If you are anything like me, if you had to really sit down and think about it, you would put mapquest out of business LMBAO! Seriously tho, the point is, some of us gave up, some of us were forced to give up, but for the remainder of us still out there drivin, we will encounter many more "alt routez" and in order for us to keep on living life (truth, lie, half-truth), what will we do in the future? Still ain't clear? I guess I can use my life as an example for todayz lesson:
Been alternative probably all my life. I'm a taurus so there are just certain things I will always have a problem with: authority is probably the main one! I, like many other who have gone before me and came after me, told myself there was NO WAY momz and DEF NOT DAD would find out "what my deal was." That is, until I met Mr.__________.
I KNEW from that moment when we first locked eyes that it was a wrap! Still "new at it all" there were some things I didn't know about: telling a dude "I love you" because you mean it or becauze itz the write thing to do, public displayz of affection, or just hangin out wit another dude. Nevertheless, after year one I was so gone it was sad! Dude gave me a key to his crib, his whip, I met his fam (he was already "out"), and it was like a real marriage! I had fallen so deep, I finally made the decision to tell momz! (that's another blog in itself that I will share later). Year two, I went in a tail spin. I fell into the "DL" trap and started actin just like the stereotypical DL dude. I must say, dude loved me (and he says he still does to this day) because he had God like patience. He didn't leave me, we never had physical fights, profane verbal argumentz...none of that. Year three I had crashed and burned. In the words of MAMA from a Raisin in the Sun, I was a handful and I didn't know what to do wit me, and dude damn sure didn't so we broke it off (2002-2005).
Two yearz later, I ended up datin someone else who was a carbon copy of who I was with dude above (this lasted 4 monthz LOL).
A year later in 08, I was on the route to decency, and met the guy who made more of an impression on me and had a major influence on me that he will never know (read my first blog).
Now itz 2011, I'm single again and I'm content. I still get "tempted" (can't tell me Eve didn't set Adam up!) and I give in (I'm human so sue me). Point is, I had to take all those routez in order to get to a place in life where I can be content and secure in who I am as an "alternative dude."
So........ my wordz to the readerz whoze eyez meet the wordz on this page:
Don't be afraid to take an "alt route"...you never know what you will encounter on the road you think will take you out of your way...I did....some by choice and some by force but I will say this to ya...since then, the shytz been
1N@MILLION!
No comments:
Post a Comment